Well, as years past, my mother got to become a certain type of way to where she could not stand my dad. Everything he did had irked her last nerve and she would always caused an argument with him. One day, she had had enough of him and decided to move away and told us to lose all contact with him. He wasn't allowed to see or talk to us and he didn't know where we lived so it was pretty difficult for him to find a way to communicate with us. I had seen him only once after we had moved and it was only because my mother wanted something from him. We met him at a friend's house and when he saw us he had just broke down and cried. Ever had a loss for words? I didn't know what to say or do to make him stop. There was nothing I could do. "Don't cry," my voice cracked. I extended one hand out towards him but I stopped midway. This would not help the fact that this would probably be the last time I saw him. The last time he would see us. I put my hand down and looked away to where my mom was. I didn't know how to feel. I didn't cry, I just looked at him until he was finished talking. He gave me money to spend and his phone number which didn't do any good since, at the time, I did not have a personal phone. i couldn't let him call back and my mom answer so I never called it. My mom had found it and threw it away anyways. There wasn't much I could do in this situation.
My mom was a pretty strong, independent woman. She did not let anything stop her. She loved us as much as our father did. But there is no changing her mind. She attempted to take us out but eventually, she knew she couldn't get through to us as our father did and began to resent us for it. We were the spitting image of him and our morals were similar. She still tried her best to take care of all five kids on her own which is not easy for anyone. She taught us some things though. She taught us to be strong in tough times and to never shed a tear for any reason. If you want something, she definitely made you earn it. She loved us all the same but she couldn't help but favor my older siblings more because they were bigger and smarter than the rest of us.
As more time past, we grew much further apart from this town and our mother. One by one, we each moved out once we turned seventeen.
It's been over eight years, almost nine now and we're all pretty grown. My oldest brother just had his first child the other day and my oldest sister has been serving in the army for years now. I lived on my own with my boyfriend and we won custody of my autistic brother from DSS together. So I have a pretty busy life.
But one day, I searched my father up and sure enough. His name and picture popped up. I messaged him and for a while I got no answer so I thought maybe he just doesn't get online anymore. Which kind of bummed me out.
Well, months past and then one day, I get a message while I was at home late one night. He had sent me a friend request and messaged me back. We had awkward small talk for a little bit then he tried to call me through messenger. I honestly panicked like you see people do on T.V. My heart was racing really bad and I ended up just letting it ring until it said it was a miss call. I was terrified. My boyfriend didn't know what was up with me but he wouldn't understand. I haven't talked to this man in years. What if he didn't care like everyone else said? What if he isn't the same person I know anymore? A lot can happen while he was gone. I didn't know what to do but I wanted to talk to him so I messaged him back and made up some lame excuse as to why I didn't answer his call.
We talked for a little while then I just flat out asked him if he knew who I was. He said, "I know this name. My daughter has a name same as yours. I haven't seen her in a long time. I miss her so much."
LET ME TELL YOU I WANTED TO CRY SO BAD.
I just spilled after that and told him why I haven't been in contact. Who was preventing me from seeing him and talking to him. Where we went and what happened. He said he missed me so much. I fell asleep while talking to him. The next morning he called and I finally worked up the nerve to answer. He could hear him having trouble with English. His voice was a little cracked and I asked what was wrong. He told me he hadn't slept all night because he was happy to finally talk to me. He asked how everyone was. He told me he asked everyone around the area we lived if they had seen or heard from any of us every other month. Each time he asked, they all said the same thing. We straight up ghosted and he still kept trying to find us.
My dad is still the same person he was when I lived with him. It may be stupid to some people that I miss my dad so much but it is seriously the hardest thing to do to let go of someone who means so much to you. You simply cannot let go, especially if they never hurt you and only wanted the best things for you. This man put everyone else before himself but he put us, his kids, before all of them. I am so happy, like you guys don't understand. I can tell how much he cares and how hard he tried to find us and communicate with us. He live several states away now but I hope he stays in our lives from now on.
But one day, I searched my father up and sure enough. His name and picture popped up. I messaged him and for a while I got no answer so I thought maybe he just doesn't get online anymore. Which kind of bummed me out.
Well, months past and then one day, I get a message while I was at home late one night. He had sent me a friend request and messaged me back. We had awkward small talk for a little bit then he tried to call me through messenger. I honestly panicked like you see people do on T.V. My heart was racing really bad and I ended up just letting it ring until it said it was a miss call. I was terrified. My boyfriend didn't know what was up with me but he wouldn't understand. I haven't talked to this man in years. What if he didn't care like everyone else said? What if he isn't the same person I know anymore? A lot can happen while he was gone. I didn't know what to do but I wanted to talk to him so I messaged him back and made up some lame excuse as to why I didn't answer his call.
We talked for a little while then I just flat out asked him if he knew who I was. He said, "I know this name. My daughter has a name same as yours. I haven't seen her in a long time. I miss her so much."
LET ME TELL YOU I WANTED TO CRY SO BAD.
I just spilled after that and told him why I haven't been in contact. Who was preventing me from seeing him and talking to him. Where we went and what happened. He said he missed me so much. I fell asleep while talking to him. The next morning he called and I finally worked up the nerve to answer. He could hear him having trouble with English. His voice was a little cracked and I asked what was wrong. He told me he hadn't slept all night because he was happy to finally talk to me. He asked how everyone was. He told me he asked everyone around the area we lived if they had seen or heard from any of us every other month. Each time he asked, they all said the same thing. We straight up ghosted and he still kept trying to find us.
My dad is still the same person he was when I lived with him. It may be stupid to some people that I miss my dad so much but it is seriously the hardest thing to do to let go of someone who means so much to you. You simply cannot let go, especially if they never hurt you and only wanted the best things for you. This man put everyone else before himself but he put us, his kids, before all of them. I am so happy, like you guys don't understand. I can tell how much he cares and how hard he tried to find us and communicate with us. He live several states away now but I hope he stays in our lives from now on.
